this is so perfect. omfg.
I know right
I think the best part of buying from housewifeswag is the business card. Immediate self esteem boost
i love this so much
"They had me rigged on this thing where I’m holding onto handles on his shoulder with my legs wrapped around his neck. He’s kinda trying to throw me off and I’m on top of him and it was so many hours of me, riding him like a mechanical bull.”
"And we’re looking over at the producers and we’re like, ‘are you happy now? Do we have enough footage?’ and they’re like, ‘looks great on camera!" - (x)
How can rape by giving a drug or intoxicant to a person that renders them unable to give consent have a minimum sentence of 0-15 years but possession of drugs without being used for rape has a mandatory minimum sentence of 15 years to life?
its almost like we have legalized the systematic oppression of women and people of color
Steve Rogers doesn’t know about Luke’s dad.
…What did that Avengers Tower movie night look like?
"Okay, I’ve got historical events and music so far. What movies do I need to see?" Steve asks, breaking out his notebook.
“Some Like It Hot,” Bruce says immediately.
“Robin Hood,” Clint puts in, to no one’s surprise.
Steve smiles. “Errol Flynn?”
“Men in Tights.”
Natasha looks up from where she’s curled in an armchair. “The Sound of Music?”
Clint snorts. “I think he might object to the singing Nazis, Nat.”
Steve just raises an eyebrow. “Singing Nazis?” That one goes on the list.
"Ooh, in that case, Pearl Harbor,” Tony says.
A chorus of groans and protests meet his statement.
"What? I kind of want to see his head explode."
Steve does not put that one on the list. “Anything else?”
“Star Wars,” Darcy says, without looking up from her phone.
The room goes silent. Everyone stops and stares at her like they’ve forgotten she stuck around after Jane went back to New Mexico. Which they probably have.
"Darce, you’re a genius,” Clint breathes.
Bruce actually smiles. “We are in the presence of the last unspoiled adult in the entire country.”
Tony’s eyes light up. “Oh my god, he doesn’t know that Vader is—”
Natasha has him in a choke-hold before anyone realizes she’s moving. “Not another syllable.”
Tony raises his hands in surrender, and Natasha loosens her hold. “What the hell was that about?” he wheezes.
She nods towards Bruce, who is looking somewhat green around the gills.
"Spoilers make him angry."
a dystopian novel about some guy who works in the government and is just trying to get by while some shitty kids try and overthrow society
"Was he married?"
"He had… a cellist. I think."
And his cellist gives him lessons each time he visits. But he hasn’t come by for a while, which is a shame because he was getting quite proficient…
There is a word for the thing the llama is doing. It is the best possible word for this phenomenon. When an animal moves by moving all four feet like this at once it’s called… PRONKING.
I can’t make stuff like this up.
Okay. I’ve seen various antelope do this. I had NO idea llamas did, too!
What… a…. graceful creature
"goodbye friend I am gone"
The Library of Congress has made a ton of images available of women working during WWII — actual real-life riveting Rosies. You can see a bunch more at Stuff Mom Never Told You.
That man on the bridge… I knew him.